The morning I found out I was pregnant was quite surreal. I remember just lying in bed crying and thanking God for this blessing that he was giving us. A chorus of a song kept running through my head “You are faithful, God you are faithful” but for the life of me, that’s all I could remember. I tried googling just those lyrics but not much was coming up.
A song that did come up (and yes, I posted it as a status on facebook that morning) was Lord, you’ve been Faithful by Majesty Music – another amazing song with these words:
Great is your faithfulness, you’ve shown to me – each day new blessing flow from Calvary.
Though other’s change you are the same. You are my God and faithful will remain.
Lord, You’ve been faithful through all these years; through every joy, through every tear. You’ve kept your promises; you’ve seen us through. Now keep us faithful Lord to You – Now keep us faithful Lord to You.
Though friends may turn away, your love is true. Each time I stray you draw me back to you. You see my heart, you know my name. You are my God and faithful will remain.
Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows bear?
In his arms He’ll take and shield thee – thou wilt find a solace there.
Lord, You’ve been faithful through all these years; through every joy, through every tear. You’ve kept your promises; you’ve seen us through. Now keep us faithful Lord to You – Now keep us faithful Lord to YOU….Lord You’ve been faithful!
A fantastic song, but it wasn’t the song that was running through my head that morning.
This past Sunday we sang “the song” or should I say, everyone else sang the song, I could barely get the words out of my throat let alone wipe the tears from my eyes fast enough. I swear the people who sit around us at church must think all I do is cry through every service! But the words to this song are so precious to me – and it fully describes the journey of infertility, for me at least.
“Never Once” by Matt Redman
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
This song was just a huge reminder that this has been a journey – it wasn’t an easy one, it’s not one that I would wish upon my worst enemy. It’s not been easy watching over 70 friends announce their pregnancies in a 6 months span of time (before I stopped counting.) It’s not been easy throwing friends and loved ones baby showers (even though I’m happy for them!) It’s not been easy feeling like your mind and body aren’t the same, because you are so high on fertility drugs that you are literally going crazy. It’s been HARD. My heart still breaks because I have friends still walking this journey. I wish that I could ease their pain just a little bit.
But through it all God has been faithful. He’s never left my side, he’s never left me alone. And for that reason, and that reminder, I am thankful for the journey. He knew that we weren’t ready for a child when we were in Michigan, or Missouri, or Iowa. He knew that we needed to be part of a good church where we felt like we belonged, he knew that we needed more people to hold us up in prayer and support us in this journey. He knew the exact timing when things were going to be “right” for us to have a baby. He knew….and still knows what’s best. And I think that is the one thing that overwhelms me the most. His timing is so perfect.
I do want to clarify something that has bothered me recently in facebook posts, in friends words etc… God would still be faithful and good even if we were NOT pregnant right now, even if God would have said NO to our desire to have children. God is still faithful and good in the bad times. God is still faithful and good when things are going down the drain. God is not only good when he blesses us and things are all sunshine and rainbows – he is good and faithful ALL the time. He always has a reason to do things in HIS perfect timing.
How has God shown his faithfulness to you lately?
Make it a GRATE day!
Love,
Christy