So I feel like I need to backtrack just a little to tell you about our Foster Care journey as well – because it all fits into our story.
When Brian and I met and later married we talked about adoption and while I have always been open to the idea of adoption, Brian was a closed book, he wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted his own children or none at all. (please don’t take that as a bad thing, adoption isn’t for everyone!)
Fast forward a few years, we are living in Iowa, and some friends of ours become licensed Foster Parents. We watched them go through the ups and downs that is Foster Care, and then end up with the sweetest two children that you would ever meet. (They actually got to adopt these children this year, but that is their story to tell, not mine) Brian’s heart was softened by these friends and especially by these sweet kiddos. We really felt God leading us into Foster Care and possibly even adoption through the Foster Care system. At that time we knew there was a HUGE possibility that we would be moving for Brian’s job again, so we decided to wait until we got moved to get into Foster Care classes. During the wait I found a Christian Foster Care Agency in the Dallas area that I just fell in love with. The people I talked to on the phone and through e-mail were fantastic and you could tell that they really loved their job, and it was more than a job to them, it was a calling. So we signed up for classes starting in January 2013. Told them a little about our background (read: Infertility Treatments), and why we really desired to become Foster Parents.
Fast forward: we get moved, holidays are done and over so we start getting a room set up for this new child/ren that will be joining our family hopefully by Spring/Summer. We found a crib, car seat, high-chair, bouncer, play mat and more. I had washed all the children’s clothing that I had and got them hung up in the closet according to size. We were ready. During this transition time I turned down 3-4 Nanny positions because we planned for me to stay at home with this little child.
The Foster Care application was very adamant about us being ACTIVE in a local church (which we LOVED!) so we decided to be quick about finding a church to be a part of (it usually took us an average of 9 months to find a church in the past.) We were going to 4 different churches a weekend some times, really praying and seeking God to where He would have us serve. We ended up at the best church, under the best teaching, in a fantastic Sunday School class, and in a fantastic Small Group – yes it was a whirlwind decision, but we KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that this is where God wanted us.
IT’S TIME TO START CLASSES! We were so excited. We decided to meet at the training center in Dallas since it would have been a waste of time for Brian to come home to get me – it ended up being the WORST driving trip that I have had here in Texas to this day. It rained BUCKETS and BUCKETS and I wasn’t used to the traffic or the Texas drivers yet – I was a mess. Then I got stuck in traffic, my GPS had me ending in an empty field, no building in site. I pulled into the next parking lot that I could and called Brian SOBBING because I was so stressed out. He’s talking me through the directions and then I realize that I’m in a strip club parking lot and a VERY sketchy figure is headed my way!! SCARY! Thankfully I just had to get back on the road and go the opposite way my GPS said to go. I only ended up being 1/2 hour late to the first class (it took me almost 3 hours to get to the training center – it should have taken me 45 minutes!) So we get into the class and everyone went around the room and introduced themselves. We were shocked at quite a few older people (60 yrs +) were in the class (not talking grandparents here), and the couples who both had full time jobs. The class ends, we turn in all the paperwork that we had completed before the class (some 20+ pages of information) and then we head home – another traumatic drive!
The next day the director calls me and wanted to ask a few questions about our paperwork. 1. My ear surgery. I explained it to him, and that was all good. 2. Infertility. I told him that we were still pursuing treatments, but would really love to do Foster Care along side of the treatments. He then told me that as long as we are pursing treatments, and for 1 year after our last treatment we wouldn’t be accepted into their program. He also told me that this was not a Texas “law” just a “rule” that they followed. So I got off the phone – bawled, and started looking for another agency. Every agency I talked to said the same thing, they all followed these rules. I quickly texted our friend and asked her if Iowa was the same, she assured me they were not. It just felt like a HUGE door being slammed in our face.
I cried A LOT those next few days – and closed the nursery door – I just couldn’t even look at it. One more “punishment” for being “infertile”
A few weeks later I asked Brian to take the crib down while I was gone one night, he did so, ever so graciously. We sold it along with almost everything else we had purchased – I just couldn’t look at it. We moved the guest bed out of the office and made the nursery into the official guest room.
The door was closed on becoming Foster Parents as long as we were pursuing fertility treatments, and we weren’t ready to give up quite yet.
Fast Forward to where we are now:
I am almost glad to have gone through that experience. While it hurt like heck, and no I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and yes Foster Care is still something we may pursue down the line, we learned from it. AND most importantly it got us into a FANTASTIC church, small group and we have friends faster than any move before. We have a fantastic support system filled with people who love and care about us.
It’s amazing to me sometimes how God has a bigger plan for us that we could ever imagine. I’m so glad to trust HIM with my future and not myself!
Watch for part 6 coming soon!
Make it a GRATE Day!