Mother’s Day has been a difficult day for me for several years now. You see my mom passed away a little over 5 years ago. She was my best friend. She wasn’t perfect and there were a lot of things that I will do differently than she did. But She was my mom, and I loved her. I don’t think it gets easier as time goes by. There are still days that I could cry at a drop of a hat when I think of her. I miss her dearly. Why doesn’t Heaven have a telephone?
Me and my mom when I was little – probably around the age of 4-5
That first mother’s day after she passed away I cried through the entire church service, and left early to go to her grave and cry my eyes out some more. Now that I am struggling with becoming a mother the day is a double edged sword for me. I am made to feel worthless, not important, less-than. I have the parts, but am just not able to have a child of my own. I sit and think that if we ever do have children my mom won’t be there to be a grandmother to them, they will never have the privilege of knowing her.
Please don’t take this as I am not happy for those who DO and CAN get pregnant – that’s’ not the case. And it’s another story for another time.
Last year I came across this post and it touched me so deeply that I shared it then. This year I’ve gone to sharing it daily on my facebook page hoping, praying, pleading for some of these pastors out there (and people in general) to be a little more sensitive to women who are mothers in their hearts, but wouldn’t qualify to be celebrated in the church. Let alone be sensitive to those who ARE mother’s that are struggling because they have lost their children, or their children aren’t making the best choices in life. Let’s not forget about those who have been mistreated by the hands of their mother, or those who selflessly gave their child up for adoption because it was best for the child. The list could go on and on.
Some have taken this to say that we should get rid of Mother’s Day – I say “NO WAY” – I loved my mom, I love my Mother-in-law, I love my grandmas – let’s celebrate them, let’s love on them. Let’s just remember that this day if very difficult for many women. Let’s be sensitive to them.
So today on Mother’s Day I acknowledge you….
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
– Italics Re-blogged from The Messy Middle
Make it a GRATE Day!